Measured for Some Fine Threads

That's right, got measured in readiness to "SUIT UP!". (Go the Barney quote!)

A few things to note after this experience:
1) Bec Bilson rocks. Period. Apostrophe... wait, damn.

2) Roger David can only hold my interest for about 3.7 minutes.

3) EB Games can hold my interest for at LEAST 25.9 minutes.

4) Hiring 5 suits is STILL less expensive than 1 wedding dress :-P

5) The Carousel food court kicks the butt of Garden City's wimpy equivalent.

6) Albany Hwy has got to be in the Top 5 for "Worst Example of a Highway EVER"

7) Suits have an annoying penchant for all looking the same, yet looking totally different. (Especially after the first 3.7 minutes are up.)

8) More people read this thing than I give credit for. (Which means Pottsey and Steve should think about commenting once in a while... :-P)

And that's all I can think of for now...

Also worth mentioning:
I managed to snap this photo of the awesomeness of Steve. Right before he got busted for using a mobile phone while driving... ;)

Movie Review: Wall-E

So, just saw Wall-E tonight, as most of you would have gathered from my mass messaging. And in keeping with my newly developed tradition, I figured I'd play the amateur movie critic again, so here it is - what I thought of Wall-E.


Holy. Freaking. Moley. Batman.
That's right, Wall-E was exactly what you'd expect from Pixar. Good clean fun for young and old! I am most definitely NOT going to give any spoilers, nor will I even quote/summarize my favorite parts. Everything, from the little mini-sode at the beginning, to the end credits (yep, I mean EVERYTHING) was just plain awesome, not to mention gut-bustingly hilarious. I will go back on my previous promise and mention that there's some funnies in this movie for Mac users - humor that, as CJ put it, was only understood by "him, me, and a group of Asian kids down the front". But that's what you get for being a nerd.

All in all, it's movies like this that give me hope for the human race - even when your childhood heroes aren't cutting it (I'm looking at YOU George Lucas!!), you have people like the dudes and dudettes at Pixar that can prove that the movie industry isn't ALL bad. To be perfectly honest, Pixar movies are pretty much the only movies I can be bothered paying for - so you know it's good, coming from a self-proclaimed movie collector via illegitimate means... ;)

Furthermore, if you missed out on seeing it tonight - I am fully up for seeing it again. Let me know. Seriously. I'll be there. Group trip. Soon. Please...?

When In Doubt, Think of Your Car...

I spent an unusually large amount of time trying to think of a topic worthy of the first official post in this thing. I wanted to post something deep, something meaningful, something that you, as the person reading this blog can take away, ponder and then probably forget. And after all that pondering, what I came up with was: "Screw it. I'm gonna write about why I love my car." Then I second guessed myself and wrote something completely different anyway. And now, several posts later, I figured I should dust off this draft and stick it up for the world (yeah, right - all of about 4 people :-P) to read.

So, my car...

I know, I know - a topic that comes deep from the complicated and often confusing psyche of a man. But hey, either you've stopped reading, or you're wondering how bad this could be.

So - ode to The "Ravenous 4".
I truly love my car, despite the fact that the damn thing's gonna cost me an unlawful amount of money to fix up the little problems that have been ignored by previous owners. Why do I love it so? Well... despite the fact that it's what you'd call a "wimpy SUV", I can fit an entire PA system in the back - and now that I've added a towbar, I can pull one too. I get great fuel economy, but I have no fear of curbs or speed bumps. I got a nice stereo, which I sold (thanks JMac) to make way for the totally awesome one that I brought over from SoCal. That coupled with the 1000W sub/amp in the back means I can give complimentary back massages to rear passengers. Funnily enough, it wasn't till I read the manual (couldn't find the damn oil filter) that I found out that I can fold all of the seats fairly flat to make a nice bed in the interior. All I need now is some LCD screens and a disco ball ;-). But those will have to wait.

And that's all I can think about for now - partly because I can't be bothered, and mostly because I'm still at work :-\. Ah well.

[Simian Primate Grunting]!!

That's right, I feel so darn masculine, I'm resorting to grunting. To all you guys out there, if you want to feel the testosterone flow, go buy a house and start fixing it up - after you finish with the car, of course.

Seriously though, I've done more handy-man projects in the last few days than ever before. I then did the most obvious thing to counter-act the manliness and took photos of my handiwork. But here they are - I have no shame. Heck, how else am I going to brag in a blog? In fact, the only other way I COULD brag about this stuff is if I take you down to my house and show you. But that requires an appointment, so this blog is going to be your best bet for now :-P.

Over the last week, the number one project has been - qualify for Contents Insurance. Contents insurance is currently the key - without it, we can't take delivery of the most comfortable couches in the world (which happens on Thursday by the way) nor can I start moving all my crap down there. We also can't start moving the various engagement presents we received (which are currently driving my dear mum-in-law insane). However, I can now say with confidence - we qualify. That's right, our house is now about 40% more secure now, and that's only because I counted the window locks being inoperable (never got the keys :-[ ). Allow me to explain: we couldn't qualify for contents insurance because we didn't have deadbolts on all exterior doors, which is a prerequisite in our area (good ol' Kwinana...). After shopping in the best man-toy-shop around (Bunnings, how I love thee...) I came prepared with various tools and 2 types of locks for the 2 doors that needed securing. The end result was these:










Not a bad piece of work if I do say so myself :-P. The rest of my accomplishments include this light on the right ->
Bit Japanese restaurantish, but it made my missus jump and squeal happily, so I certainly don't mind :).





I also stopped the front screen door from slamming every time by putting in a new one of these
<-






Next step is going to be furiously preparing for painting - there's a long weekend coming up and last I heard, Klara was hoping to get some help in for a massive paint-fest. Fun stuff :-P.

The Most Expensive Keys I've Ever Bought...

Well, that's that. My life is now officially sold to the bank for the price of one house. Still, it's pretty cool jangling a set of keys that are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

I caught myself imagining the moving-in process last night - I was getting caught up in how cool it would be to set up my "Free Chair" and possibly look at getting a BIG TV. Then there was what to do with spare space, living room, back patio, yard, front patio... The list goes on. But all this imagination-ness pales in the face of the daunting amount of work ahead of me. Between painting the place and the insane amount of gardening that has to be done, I reckon I'll be kept out of trouble for a LONG time...

In other news, my theory about "Spinning Plates" has yet another chunk of proof - Things get sorted out with the house, I put out some drama fires with friends, and suddenly I've got family dramas coming from nowhere. Nice to know that life has its constants :-).

Hint: Want a big TV, but don't have the money for a plasma or LCD?? Try hunting down a second hand "Rear-Projection" TV. Due to the nature of how they work, there's no such thing as a small one. The only catch is that most sellers expect you to move it yourself, meaning you'll need a friend or 3...

Caution: Spinning Plates!

Well, it's pretty much official - in 24 hrs, Klara and I will be almost homeowners. That's right - we're only almost homeowners because the vendors' (current owners) financial person/institution have moved settlement back by one day. Grr.

Luckily, there is a bit of a loophole - Klara and I can sign some bit of paper that gives us the keys and access to the house. The catch is that if anything happens to the house it becomes our problem. Here's hoping that the place doesn't burn to the ground... :(

In other news, I have confirmed a theory of mine - one that examines the ironies of life. The theory?

No matter what, Life is incapable of being perfect.

Now some of you may scoff and say, "Brilliant newsflash, Captain Obvious," but I don't refer to the fact that the world is messed up, or that humanity is screwed - my revelation stems from the level of everyday being. It comes from the realization that no matter how many things can be going right, there will always be something that goes wrong. I know it sounds like Murphy's Law in a different outfit, but hear me out.

For the last few years, I've been speculating on an emerging pattern - as you deal with the obstacles that crop up in life, when one is put to rest, another obstacle takes its place.
Which means that life turns into an episode of plate-spinning. Yes plate-spinning. That wonderful spectacle of some guy wowing you with balance and precision that eventually snowballs into frantically trying to keep all those plates from crashing down.

For those of you completely lost, here's the mysterious tie-in:
Over the last couple of years I've had various issues crop up in life - needing a job, needing a place to stay, family dramas, etc. It would always seem like after getting one segment of life dialled in, a completely different segment would suddenly be a plate that was starting to fall. So, I'd run over and keep that one spinning, and then another would start to fall, and so on, and so on...

And it's frustrating. Unbelievably frustrating. Something that was working perfectly is now wobbling dangerously, and about to break. Even the things you think you can depend on to be unshakable. Call me cynical (or maybe just depressed), but life just has a way of pulling the rug out from under your feet, even (or is it especially?) the rugs that you think are nailed to the floor...

Maybe that's why I prefer hardwood flooring.

Moon-walking... Kinda like Day-Dreaming...

Wow. Final inspection is imminent. It's really intimidating - seems like now is our last chance to find anything wrong with the house that could end up costing us packets of cash. If we don't find it now, anything that we find wrong later is on our heads, meaning it comes out of our wallets. Hell of a lot of pressure, no?

Still, it IS just that one step closer to the house being ours... "One small step for man.." and all that. At least the wedding isn't intimidating... ;-)

On a random note, I'm in that funny mood where I'm really jonesing to watch Westerns. And not those John Wayne ones, but the nice crappy spaghetti westerns.
[Interesting side note: Ever wonder where the term "spaghetti western" came from? Funnily enough, it applies to the many many cheap (read: crap) westerns that were made by Italian directors - apparently the dudes in pasta-land went nuts with the genre in the 1960's.