Scientific Discovery!!

On Saturday I spent most of the day and part of the next morning at the house painting. 'Twas good fun with the legendary Lourie and the epic Pottsey stopping by to keep me company and share some laughs. And in the midst of that I managed to put the second coat on half the walls in the living room - YAY! But I digress.

So the scene is set - 12 hours of honest labor behind me as I wake up on Sunday, late morning-ish. After some monkeying about and a small amount of grocery shopping, I once again journeyed south to the painting cave. While waiting for Pottsey to come down I used the ingredients I had bought - 2 cans of chili (con carne) and 250g of prime cheddar. After simmering the chili on medium heat, I added the better part of 150g of said cheese (cubed) and stirred through till melted. After Pottsey arrived (30 sec after I took the chili-cheese wonderment off the stove) I put a bag of Doritos in a bowl, put the now identified dip in another bowl and served. Pottsey and I then did what we do best and consumed the glorious combination of (sort of) nacho chips and chili-cheese dip.

Now I can almost hear you thinking, "Why is the word 'SCIENCE' in the title???" Well, I'm glad you asked. After Pottsey and I consumed heaven on a plate, we found that we had a total lack of ability to continue painting, and, in fact, were about to fall asleep. So my scientific conclusion is:

"Good food combined with a late night prior leads to a complete lack of caring about anything."

Which is just fine with me!
And just for you, here's a basic recipe for you to enjoy:

Chili-cheese Dip
Ingredients:
Can of Chili con carne (choose flavor based on taste) - Ratio = about 2 cans:3 people
Cheddar cheese, cubed - Add to suit taste

Put the chili into a saucepan / small pot and simmer
Add cheese gradually
Stir continuously
Eventually raise heat to high, constantly stirring
Done when you can't find any bits of cheese
Put in a bowl and serve with favorite type of chip (fries are good too!)

Frankenstein Nostalgia

I'll bet the title has at least SOME people scratching their electronic heads. Which is fine with me - Chaos, Confusion, Disorder, and my work here is done...

But seriously, I'm having a severe wistful moment. Allow me to elaborate:
The first computer I ever built, was constructed completely out of spare parts. I added about $200 of upgrades, but the bare bones that made it run was cobbled together from stuff I got for free. I dubbed it "Frankenstein" which I know isn't literally correct, but too bad. (It's worth mentioning that I sold Frankenstein to a coffee shop for $200 profit. :) ) Now, let's fast forward back to the present: I have 3 computers in the same room as me that I've built in a similar fashion, including Frankenstein II, but all of them pale in comparison to the machine that is currently building itself on the desk. That's right, the Media Server.

Now wait, didn't I already have that running???
Ah yes, I did. I had it working quite nicely actually - however, it's now bigger, badder, and better than ever! While most of the original hardware is the same, there are some major differences:

1) The Case: one of the major drawbacks of the original machine was that the case it was in was a cheap thing I picked up for $10, and with the fans I put into it to keep it from melting on me, it was pretty damn loud. Not anymore - whisper silent, much more room, and just plain good-looking.




2) The Storage: the old machine had about 850GB of storage provided by 4 hard drives in a JBOD configuration. (JBOD = Jumbo Bunch Of Disks. It also = heart break if one of them fails). Now? Five hard drives, with 4 in a RAID 5 configuration (it's cool, trust me) with just about double the storage of the JBOD. That's right, we're talking more than 1.5 TB. Be afraid.



Also noteworthy: Because of the way it works, the 4 drives in RAID 5 need to be "built" into the right configuration. (Remember, I said it's "building itself"...?). I started this building process almost 2 hours ago. Current status = 30%. Must. Be. Patient...!




3) The RAID Controller: OK, I already mentioned the storage, but this little piece of silicone is what makes it work - a PCI SATA RAID controller. And no, I won't expand that alphabet soup of acronyms there. You're not special enough :-P
Anywho, I need to shower much thanks on my buddy Simon: he had this lying around as a spare part, and let me have it :-D.

Current status: 31%

Well, I can't afford to keep watching this thing till it finishes, so it's bedtime for me. Klara's probably going to kill me after reading this, because I said I wasn't going to have a late night... But I think I'll be alright, at least until after the house is painted :-P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update: 01/10/08, 10:00 AM

The server lives again! And after a bit of downloading for a driver, and some small tweaks, the massive drive is recognized - in fact, before I left for work, I started transferring across my DVD library. Ah, so much joy.

Measured for Some Fine Threads

That's right, got measured in readiness to "SUIT UP!". (Go the Barney quote!)

A few things to note after this experience:
1) Bec Bilson rocks. Period. Apostrophe... wait, damn.

2) Roger David can only hold my interest for about 3.7 minutes.

3) EB Games can hold my interest for at LEAST 25.9 minutes.

4) Hiring 5 suits is STILL less expensive than 1 wedding dress :-P

5) The Carousel food court kicks the butt of Garden City's wimpy equivalent.

6) Albany Hwy has got to be in the Top 5 for "Worst Example of a Highway EVER"

7) Suits have an annoying penchant for all looking the same, yet looking totally different. (Especially after the first 3.7 minutes are up.)

8) More people read this thing than I give credit for. (Which means Pottsey and Steve should think about commenting once in a while... :-P)

And that's all I can think of for now...

Also worth mentioning:
I managed to snap this photo of the awesomeness of Steve. Right before he got busted for using a mobile phone while driving... ;)

Movie Review: Wall-E

So, just saw Wall-E tonight, as most of you would have gathered from my mass messaging. And in keeping with my newly developed tradition, I figured I'd play the amateur movie critic again, so here it is - what I thought of Wall-E.


Holy. Freaking. Moley. Batman.
That's right, Wall-E was exactly what you'd expect from Pixar. Good clean fun for young and old! I am most definitely NOT going to give any spoilers, nor will I even quote/summarize my favorite parts. Everything, from the little mini-sode at the beginning, to the end credits (yep, I mean EVERYTHING) was just plain awesome, not to mention gut-bustingly hilarious. I will go back on my previous promise and mention that there's some funnies in this movie for Mac users - humor that, as CJ put it, was only understood by "him, me, and a group of Asian kids down the front". But that's what you get for being a nerd.

All in all, it's movies like this that give me hope for the human race - even when your childhood heroes aren't cutting it (I'm looking at YOU George Lucas!!), you have people like the dudes and dudettes at Pixar that can prove that the movie industry isn't ALL bad. To be perfectly honest, Pixar movies are pretty much the only movies I can be bothered paying for - so you know it's good, coming from a self-proclaimed movie collector via illegitimate means... ;)

Furthermore, if you missed out on seeing it tonight - I am fully up for seeing it again. Let me know. Seriously. I'll be there. Group trip. Soon. Please...?

When In Doubt, Think of Your Car...

I spent an unusually large amount of time trying to think of a topic worthy of the first official post in this thing. I wanted to post something deep, something meaningful, something that you, as the person reading this blog can take away, ponder and then probably forget. And after all that pondering, what I came up with was: "Screw it. I'm gonna write about why I love my car." Then I second guessed myself and wrote something completely different anyway. And now, several posts later, I figured I should dust off this draft and stick it up for the world (yeah, right - all of about 4 people :-P) to read.

So, my car...

I know, I know - a topic that comes deep from the complicated and often confusing psyche of a man. But hey, either you've stopped reading, or you're wondering how bad this could be.

So - ode to The "Ravenous 4".
I truly love my car, despite the fact that the damn thing's gonna cost me an unlawful amount of money to fix up the little problems that have been ignored by previous owners. Why do I love it so? Well... despite the fact that it's what you'd call a "wimpy SUV", I can fit an entire PA system in the back - and now that I've added a towbar, I can pull one too. I get great fuel economy, but I have no fear of curbs or speed bumps. I got a nice stereo, which I sold (thanks JMac) to make way for the totally awesome one that I brought over from SoCal. That coupled with the 1000W sub/amp in the back means I can give complimentary back massages to rear passengers. Funnily enough, it wasn't till I read the manual (couldn't find the damn oil filter) that I found out that I can fold all of the seats fairly flat to make a nice bed in the interior. All I need now is some LCD screens and a disco ball ;-). But those will have to wait.

And that's all I can think about for now - partly because I can't be bothered, and mostly because I'm still at work :-\. Ah well.

[Simian Primate Grunting]!!

That's right, I feel so darn masculine, I'm resorting to grunting. To all you guys out there, if you want to feel the testosterone flow, go buy a house and start fixing it up - after you finish with the car, of course.

Seriously though, I've done more handy-man projects in the last few days than ever before. I then did the most obvious thing to counter-act the manliness and took photos of my handiwork. But here they are - I have no shame. Heck, how else am I going to brag in a blog? In fact, the only other way I COULD brag about this stuff is if I take you down to my house and show you. But that requires an appointment, so this blog is going to be your best bet for now :-P.

Over the last week, the number one project has been - qualify for Contents Insurance. Contents insurance is currently the key - without it, we can't take delivery of the most comfortable couches in the world (which happens on Thursday by the way) nor can I start moving all my crap down there. We also can't start moving the various engagement presents we received (which are currently driving my dear mum-in-law insane). However, I can now say with confidence - we qualify. That's right, our house is now about 40% more secure now, and that's only because I counted the window locks being inoperable (never got the keys :-[ ). Allow me to explain: we couldn't qualify for contents insurance because we didn't have deadbolts on all exterior doors, which is a prerequisite in our area (good ol' Kwinana...). After shopping in the best man-toy-shop around (Bunnings, how I love thee...) I came prepared with various tools and 2 types of locks for the 2 doors that needed securing. The end result was these:










Not a bad piece of work if I do say so myself :-P. The rest of my accomplishments include this light on the right ->
Bit Japanese restaurantish, but it made my missus jump and squeal happily, so I certainly don't mind :).





I also stopped the front screen door from slamming every time by putting in a new one of these
<-






Next step is going to be furiously preparing for painting - there's a long weekend coming up and last I heard, Klara was hoping to get some help in for a massive paint-fest. Fun stuff :-P.

The Most Expensive Keys I've Ever Bought...

Well, that's that. My life is now officially sold to the bank for the price of one house. Still, it's pretty cool jangling a set of keys that are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

I caught myself imagining the moving-in process last night - I was getting caught up in how cool it would be to set up my "Free Chair" and possibly look at getting a BIG TV. Then there was what to do with spare space, living room, back patio, yard, front patio... The list goes on. But all this imagination-ness pales in the face of the daunting amount of work ahead of me. Between painting the place and the insane amount of gardening that has to be done, I reckon I'll be kept out of trouble for a LONG time...

In other news, my theory about "Spinning Plates" has yet another chunk of proof - Things get sorted out with the house, I put out some drama fires with friends, and suddenly I've got family dramas coming from nowhere. Nice to know that life has its constants :-).

Hint: Want a big TV, but don't have the money for a plasma or LCD?? Try hunting down a second hand "Rear-Projection" TV. Due to the nature of how they work, there's no such thing as a small one. The only catch is that most sellers expect you to move it yourself, meaning you'll need a friend or 3...

Caution: Spinning Plates!

Well, it's pretty much official - in 24 hrs, Klara and I will be almost homeowners. That's right - we're only almost homeowners because the vendors' (current owners) financial person/institution have moved settlement back by one day. Grr.

Luckily, there is a bit of a loophole - Klara and I can sign some bit of paper that gives us the keys and access to the house. The catch is that if anything happens to the house it becomes our problem. Here's hoping that the place doesn't burn to the ground... :(

In other news, I have confirmed a theory of mine - one that examines the ironies of life. The theory?

No matter what, Life is incapable of being perfect.

Now some of you may scoff and say, "Brilliant newsflash, Captain Obvious," but I don't refer to the fact that the world is messed up, or that humanity is screwed - my revelation stems from the level of everyday being. It comes from the realization that no matter how many things can be going right, there will always be something that goes wrong. I know it sounds like Murphy's Law in a different outfit, but hear me out.

For the last few years, I've been speculating on an emerging pattern - as you deal with the obstacles that crop up in life, when one is put to rest, another obstacle takes its place.
Which means that life turns into an episode of plate-spinning. Yes plate-spinning. That wonderful spectacle of some guy wowing you with balance and precision that eventually snowballs into frantically trying to keep all those plates from crashing down.

For those of you completely lost, here's the mysterious tie-in:
Over the last couple of years I've had various issues crop up in life - needing a job, needing a place to stay, family dramas, etc. It would always seem like after getting one segment of life dialled in, a completely different segment would suddenly be a plate that was starting to fall. So, I'd run over and keep that one spinning, and then another would start to fall, and so on, and so on...

And it's frustrating. Unbelievably frustrating. Something that was working perfectly is now wobbling dangerously, and about to break. Even the things you think you can depend on to be unshakable. Call me cynical (or maybe just depressed), but life just has a way of pulling the rug out from under your feet, even (or is it especially?) the rugs that you think are nailed to the floor...

Maybe that's why I prefer hardwood flooring.

Moon-walking... Kinda like Day-Dreaming...

Wow. Final inspection is imminent. It's really intimidating - seems like now is our last chance to find anything wrong with the house that could end up costing us packets of cash. If we don't find it now, anything that we find wrong later is on our heads, meaning it comes out of our wallets. Hell of a lot of pressure, no?

Still, it IS just that one step closer to the house being ours... "One small step for man.." and all that. At least the wedding isn't intimidating... ;-)

On a random note, I'm in that funny mood where I'm really jonesing to watch Westerns. And not those John Wayne ones, but the nice crappy spaghetti westerns.
[Interesting side note: Ever wonder where the term "spaghetti western" came from? Funnily enough, it applies to the many many cheap (read: crap) westerns that were made by Italian directors - apparently the dudes in pasta-land went nuts with the genre in the 1960's.

Free-Floating Enthusiasm!

So I was reading over the last few posts because I seemingly had nothing better to do, and I couldn't help be be disappointed at myself - after all, it's mostly negative and cynical!

Ah well, it just means that I have to balance with positivity - so here's some things that I'm smiling about! So, here goes:

1) In just over a week, my woman and I will have a house! Yes, that does mean that I have to move soon, but it's a new adventure especially when....

2) We're going to OWN a house! Wait, didn't I just say that? Ah, but my point is this - because we OWN the house, we can do pretty much whatever we want to it! I've already started daydreaming about nerdy stuff like wiring up a network, running network to the shed out back, setting up entertainment systems - but I daydream about non-nerdy stuff too! I can't wait to measure out the shed out back and set up a work bench, and powertools, flouro lights, organizing tools, building a central workspace... [insert manly grunting *here*]
Exciting times, no?

3) I get to see a smile on my woman's face - and nothing makes me happier than seeing my woman happy! (Especially when it's so effortless!) Big secret tip for the guys out there: You want to hang on to the woman you love? Then put her happiness well before yours - trust me, you'll still be happy too!

4) I've got some new hobbies that I can't wait to start exploring! Granted, I'll need to wait till I can afford it, but they'll be awesome: such as building a motorized fun-vehicle (go-kart, pocket bike, mini-quad... who knows?) or getting into remote control helicopters! Right now, I can't wait to try pulling apart some cheapo R/C car and putting a DRILL motor into it... could be interesting!

5) Heck, I'm still excited about #2! In fact, yes, #5 is - I'm still really stoked about #2.

And that's about all for now - I've only got about a 1/2 hour left at work... before I go and fix someone else's personal computer on the side. [sigh] It's tough being a nerd in demand...

Movie Review: "Star Wars: The Clone Wars"

Yup, last night I went to see the latest from George Lucas in the Star Wars saga. Conclusion? A piece of my heart died. That's how saddened I am by Lucasfilm's antics at this point.

Let's review: George Lucas's original masterpiece movie trilogies: Star Wars, and Indiana Jones.
For both, the original trilogies were just downright awesome. Don't get me wrong, they're all far from perfect movies - many of the films are riddled with bloopers. Heck, it isn't till you watch Star Wars with a seasoned perspective that you realize just how crap the acting is. BUT for all 6 of these films, the story-lines, stunts, and special effects are friggin' brilliant. Star Wars set the benchmark for state-of-the-art special effects back in its day, which is amusing when you find that some of the Death Star scenes are just cherry bombs exploding on a mock-up surface as the camera drives by in a pick-up truck. However, I'm starting to ramble.

My point is, these 6 timeless movies are awesome. I haven't met anybody that doesn't like at least one of these films. So why, oh why, has Lucasfilms Ltd. systematically produced garbage to be tacked on to the legacy of these original classics? Indy 4? Sucked. Had standard Indy acting, action and stunts, but the story left a bad taste in my mouth. Star Wars: Episodes 1, 2, & 3? Depressing. Apart from snazzier effects and fight scenes (I must admit, Yoda rocks. Period.), the story was sadly lacking.

And then we come to Star Wars: The Clone Wars. To be perfectly honest, most Star Wars fans I talked to just looked at me like I was a traitor when I mentioned that I was going to see it. The reactions I got amounted to sad shaking of heads. I could see why, considering the trend of George Lucas franchises. But, see it, I did. And it didn't... disappoint. But oh, how it did.

The movie's good points don't add up to much: a few funny one-liners and amusing situations are about it. I'll admit that some of the visuals were nice, at least. As for the rest of it?

Story-line = Crap. Predictable. Childish (It's painfully obvious that this one is geared more for kids.)

Dialogue = Who are you kidding? One-liners are literally being delivered by ROBOTS.

Acting/Characters = Even though it's voice-acting, which in some aspects, must be easier, it's still garbage. Only 3 of the original voices are obtained - Anthony Daniels (C3PO - who has about 3 lines); Samuel L. Jackson (Mace Windu - who has... 5 lines); and Christopher Lee (Count Dooku - who actually has dialogue at least...). The rest? Probably the developers for all I know - each "unheard of" name on the list did at least 2 characters, from what I glimpsed in the end credits. Oh yeah, and the "acting" side of the voices? Still crap. As for the characters? There's a baby Hutt (remember Jabba from Return of the Jedi?) and a Hutt that speaks English and sounds like a woman. (And it's supposed to be Jabba's UNCLE). Need I say more?

Special Effects = Well, seeing as the entire movie is CGI, you'd expect some kind of pizazz. Apart from some nice backdrops and the like, the "special effects" just weren't jaw-dropping in the way you come to expect from these movies (anyone who remembers watching Return of the Jedi can probably agree).

Fight Scenes = One image springs to mind when I try to summarize the lightsaber battles in this movie - strobe light. In fact, pretty much all of the character movements seem to be jerky and unnatural. The shoot-outs featuring clone-troopers are nice, but not enough to earn much more than this footnote. Oh and by the way, see that picture up there of Yoda with a lightsaber? The picture lies. Yoda doesn't draw his weapon at ANY point of this movie.

On the whole, this movie doesn't do anything for the Star Wars series, except drag the name into the mud. I weep for the Lucasfilm legacy. Right now, their record stands at 6:5 for Classic:Flop ratio. It doesn't bode well for future releases.

Movie Review: "Sleuth"

Was at Civic Video tonight, dropping off 9 Bond films and renting another 5, and Jayne, my housemate extraordinaire, picked out a movie at my request. The film she picked? Sleuth, starring Michael Caine and Jude Law.

We watched it while eating our respective dinners, and as the film progressed a few things became clear:

1) This film makes absolutely no sense. - when you spend more than half of a movie scratching your head, it's a bad sign.

2) (Potential Spoiler) There's only 2 people in the whole movie. - according to the credits, there's 3 actors [I'm not kidding.], but one of them only appears as a TV character, so he doesn't count.

3) There's no way I could ever bring myself to pirate this DVD. - If you truly need a final nail in the coffin, the fact that I have NO DESIRE whatsoever to rip this DVD to add to my collection, that should pretty much cover it.

Actually, it's pretty impressive in and of itself that some movie studio somewhere in an English speaking country can produce a movie that I never want to see again - especially when you consider the fact that I did rip Hebrew Hammer. Rent it. Watch it. Understand.

As Jayne and I spent most of the movie looking at each other, just to confirm that the other was equally in the dark, the only thing we took away from it was, "This movie must have been written by one sick cookie."

Does your subconscious find sleep boring...?

I like sleep. I really do. Every now and then, I like to have a day where I just sleep till... I wake up. And then go back to sleep. If I could, I would nominate a day every week where I could just stay in bed all day, do nothing apart from some occasional reading, or a movie, and generally veg out. I hereby declare the 8th day of every week to be a day of rest.

And now that I've pointed out how much I enjoy sleep, I have to ask myself: "WHY AM I STILL UP AT 2:15 AM???". Well, technically it's because I finally took the last step and hooked the server up to the TV and stereo. It still needs a bit of tweaking, but I successfully tested it by skimming through the western epic Once Upon A Time In The West - that was made by an Italian. Go figure. ->

But after finishing the movie in half the time, I still didn't jump under the covers, douse the lights, and fire up the REM cycles - no, I decided to read Klara's and Kat's respective blogs. True, they are my 2 favorite ladies, but honestly, at this hour, it's pathetic.

Did it stop there? Nope. Because here I am now, feeling all inspired after reading the blogs of the fiance and the best-woman-friend: so much so that I've made a new post all about it. I think I'll just go now, and gag myself to sleep.

On that note, I'll leave you with this quote from the aforementioned legendary movie (No Kat, not in the Barney sense!):

"Hey, Harmonica. When they do you in... Pray that it's somebody who knows WHERE to shoot..."

NEW SERIES: Life In Terms Of...

So I thought I'd start up a new series - we've already got the lists of things to do in the face of boredom (and I plan on adding to that still... :D ), and in the interest of relieving boredom with a laugh, I thought I'd try something new.

So here it is - "Life In Terms Of...": Finding ways of explaining life through ordinary things that probably don't have anything to do with it anyway.

And up first? Life in Terms of...WEBSITES.


So, can you sum up life in the terms of a website? I happen to think so - and my examples are obvious: the 2 "super-ultimate-might-as-well-be-god-because everything-is-possible -on-them-websites" known as MySpace and Facebook.

I have to admit - I have been sucked in by both. I was fully taken in by the MySpace craze, starting as far back as when I was in high school over in SoCal. Of course, eventually the hype died off and logging into MySpace became a chore. And I'm a lazy individual so [chore = something I don't do.]

And now the same has happened with Facebook, only instead of hype pulling me in, it was my fiance. And again, the same thing happened - hype dies, using becomes a chore. Only much much quicker this time...

But enough about my experiences - on to the topic: can one relate a website to life? I happen to think so. MySpace for starters - on the MySpace site, you have at least one of the fundamentals of life: Interaction. You have the ability to interact with your "environment" by designing your page which also helps to define your individuality. You can interact with others - whole conversations of a deep and personal nature can be carried out with comments where only you and the rest of the world get to see them. You can upload photos, advertise a party and even write a suicide note. All this and more is possible in the world of MySpace. I still remember people asking my why I wasn't at some event or other. When I said "Where was my invite?" I'd get "I put it on MySpace, didn't you check?". On top of that you've got advertising, product placement, cliques, dating, instant messaging, email, music, art, acting, movies, stupidity, stalkers, and identity theft - all wrapped up in an HTML/CSS package. Hell, with a list like that, all you're missing is food, water, and air (and only because someone hasn't figure out the programming code for them, I'm sure).

And then comes Facebook. Remove the indiviualized pages, and a bit of the identity theft, spam and stalkers and you've got the same experience, but "BETTER". ** By "better" they must mean something that I'm not capable of comprehending, but that's just me. I must give credit where it's due though and point out that Facebook might as well be Life 2.0 with its slicker coding and better security. But I digress.

So, in simple terms (i.e. without whinging about trendy websites), how does life relate to websites? Well, when you break up the PURPOSE of a website, maybe the answer gets a little clearer... For instance, a website, in most cases, is an effort to gain recogition, but that's not all a site's purpose is limited to - some are a voice trying to be heard, some are there to pose questions, some find answers, and some just ARE the answers. Heck, there's websites to find your true love too. And, of course, Google rules them all.

Life? Well, I'd say a fair few people out there are searching for recognition, identity, individuality and answers. Some want to be heard, some want to hear, and in the middle of all this "life" you've got God running behind the scenes. Just like Google.

And that sounds like a nice conclusion to take out of context : "God is a lot like Google."

Or is it the other way around?

**Note how I didn't mention viruses in things removed. Mainly because if you focus on the negative impact on a company's productivity level due to Facebook, it pretty much becomes a virus on its own :p .**

THE FIRST POST...

So welcome to the most pointless blog on the InterWebz - the blog of a Procrastinator Extraordinaire! Seriously, I moved my old MySpace blog here months ago, and am NOW FINALLY getting to the first post (and not just because I copped some nagging from the fiance... ;) )

I suppose now would be a good time to start rambling about how my life is going - my trials, my joys, my successes, my failures... But I can't be bothered because either:

A) Don't wanna think about it.

OR

B) Can't be bothered typing that much

Take your pick - they seem to be universally applicable (especially since it took this long to get around typing this entry).

ANYWAY - might as well give some basic highlights, seeing as it's what's on my mind, or what I'm using to distract myself with; hell, I'm not sure which.


First of all - THE MEDIA SERVER LIVES. That's right, be afraid you non-nerd mortals! Jukebox 2.0 is up, running, and packing some serious storage (do YOU have over 850GB of storage on YOUR piddly little computer?). Best part? When I'm done setting up the file-system and dumping all of my various bits of junk on there, it'll hook up to my TV and sound system. And some of you chose to do SPORTS in high school? Freaking. Awesome.




Next up - THE HOUSE IS ALMOST OURS. You heard me right, the woman and I are a hop, skip and jump away from owning our first house. Crazy, huh?






Third serving? I figured out how to get the embedded Next G modem on a Toshiba Portege R500 to connect to a network OTHER than BigPond's! Alright, so that's not even all that exciting to me, but it's been bugging me for a couple days, so fixing it feels good :) .

Cheap Entertainment: Life In General

GENERAL:

- Finish all sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

- Whenever possible, skip instead of walk.

- Stand in the middle of a walkway/path and stare up, pointing. (works better with a large group)

- Lie face down in the middle of a walkway/path, and when someone asks if you're ok, jump up and run away without saying anything.

- Play "air drums" in the middle of a public place. If possible, get a whole band.

- In a large group, stand in the middle of a walkway/path and dance without music.

- Walk toe-to-heel whenever possible.

- Jump after every 3rd / 4th step while walking.

- At the beach, play volleyball with an invisible ball.

Cheap Entertainment: In The Car

IN THE CAR: **NOTE: Probably shouldn't do these around cops.**

- When traffic is light, make safe lane changes between every lane, every 3 seconds, using the indicator.

- Have every person in the car wear a turban (or a towel wrapped around your head) and sunglasses. Pull up next to people and wave.

- Back your car through drive-thru restaurants.

- When you drive round to pick up your food, have someone pop out of the trunk/boot.

- Drive alongside someone, lean out, and open the passenger-side door (only if you KNOW them!!).

- At night, stop behind someone at a traffic light, sneak out of your car, and stand outside their window making the scariest face you can. (Helps if the light JUST turned red.)

- While slowing down for a red light, tap your breaks in time to your stereo.

- (Guys) Pull alongside some girls and pop the clutch repeatedly (bunny-hop). Ask them if they want a lift in a charming or sleazy way.

- Blast talk radio with the windows rolled down.

- Dance as crazily as possible while wearing a seatbelt.

- Have everyone in the car bob their heads to the right or left in perfect unison, in time to the music.

- Play air instruments as crazily as possible.

- (Passenger). While the driver isn't looking (especially at red lights), shift into neutral or turn on the hazard lights.

Cheap Entertainment: Office

IN THE OFFICE
- When travelling through the office, act like a spy sneaking around. When people get used to that, switch to commando-crawling.

- Buy a few goldfish in a bowl. When the novelty wears off, wear a scuba mask and snorkel and stick your head in the bowl. When THAT gets boring, start trying to catch the fish in your mouth.

- Label everything in / on your desk with " of Lord ", i.e. "Stapler of Lord Johnson".

- Build a fort out of empty filing boxes on top of your desk.

- Steal coworkers office supplies, and set them in Jell-o.

- Send an email out to everyone saying "Free food in the conference room."

- Page yourself over the P.A. system. More than once per day.

- Demand that all coworkers refer to you as "Lord of the Dance".

- Cover / wrap everything on your desk in newspaper. When asked why, say you're getting ready to paint. If asked what you're painting, reply "Everything."

- Find the person you don't get along with the most. Cover everything on/in their desk with aluminum foil.

- Superglue the handset of someone's phone down. When they're at their desk, call them.

- Find someone who can't touch-type. Put white-out on all of the keys on their keyboard.

Cheap Entertainment: Toilet

IN THE PUBLIC TOILET:
- Cheer loudly everytime someone makes one of "those" noises.

- Smeer some peanut butter on some toilet paper and drop/slide it into the next stall (when someone's there, of course). Ask them if they can nudge it back.

- Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Run into the toilet holding your mouth (hiding the balloon). When you get into the stall, make vomit noises while dumping the contents into the toilet with some spilling onto the floor. (Also try with oatmeal.)

- Put a mirror on the floor and slide it around till you can see the person in the next stall. Then say "peek-a-boo".

- Make very loud grunting noises. Need I say more?

- Take a bra into the stall (ESPECIALLY if you're a guy.), and toss it over into the stall next to you while singing "Born To Be Wild".

- When there's a lot of people, wash your hands at every sink. If there are automatic air-dryers, use each one of them.

- Fill a balloon with Sprite, Pasito, or apple juice. Spray it wildly into the air.r

Cheap Entertainment: "Mart" Stores

IN DEPARTMENT STORES (i.e. KMart):

- Use your reflection in a security camera bubble to pick your nose.

- Hide in the middle of circular clothing racks, and pop out while people are looking through the clothes. Or recommend what they should buy.

- Sneak around like a spy/commando, hiding from an invisible enemy. Ignore other shoppers. For better results, bring friends.

- Play catch with a roll of toilet paper. If you can find enough people, play football instead.

- Whenever an announcement is made over the P.A., drop to the floor and scream, "The voices are back!! The voices!!"

- Put random things into people's baskets when they're not looking (like jumper cables, or a basketball). Make sure it's big enough so that they'll notice it at the checkout.

- Wander suspiciously around a department. When an employee asks if they can help you, drop to the ground cradling your head, shouting, "Why won't you people leave me alone?!?"

- With a friend, grab 2 fishing poles (preferably ones you already own) and stage a sword fight.

- Set all the radios in the stereo section to talk radio. Then dance to them. Alternatively, burn mutiple CD's with YMCA, or The Macarena, etc. Put one in each stereo, synchronize them if desired, and dance appropriately. For best results, bring friends.

- (With friends) Set all the TV's to the same channel, preferably one that's showing a news segment. Then have everybody watch it on a different TV. If employees talk to any of you, respond with "Leave me alone" answer (see above).

Cheap Entertainment: Gladwrap

FUN WITH GLADWRAP

- Take a piece of plastic wrap (appropriately sized, of course) and stretch over the bowl of a toilet. The clearer it is, the better. Your imagination should be able to fill in the rest...

- Stretch a piece of plastic wrap across a walkway (once again, the clearer the better). When someone is walking down the walkway, toss a bucket of water into the wrap. After a good laugh, squeegee the wrap dry and get ready for the next victim...

- Wrap up a porta-pottie... with someone in it.

- Secure someone to their bed... with several layers of wrap.

- In the office, wrap someone's desk.. or the things on their desk... or the things IN their desk. The more you use the better. (Also works well with aluminum foil!)

- Also in the office - if you work in a cubicle environment, wrap up a cubicle (or several) with people still inside.

- On a vacation or a camp? Give someone's luggage that stay-fresh seal...

- Wrap a mailbox with as many layers of wrap as possible...

- ...Or wrap as many mailboxes together as possible, stretching down a block

- And finally, make sure that a friend's car is nice and fresh for them when they get back from partying...






MUCH LOVE LAUREN!!

Cheap Entertainment: Elevator

IN THE ELEVATOR:
- (In a full elevator) Start singing. Loudly. Especially if you don't know the words.

- Have 2-3 people standing in the elevator facing the back wall, not moving or speaking. Ride for as long as possible.

- Set up a desk and make the elevator look like an office. Whenever someone tries to get on, ask if they have an appointment.

- Stare at the ceiling for as long as possible, even if you miss your floor.

- Fart loudly. Then give someone else an accusing look.

- Cover the walls of the elevator with aluminum foil. If asked why, say "To keep the voices out."

- Use the reflection on the walls/door to pick your nose.

- Bring a sleeping bag and pillow and lie down on the floor. Ride for as long as possible.

- As the doors are closing, jump out and yell "Victory is mine!", while running away.

- Set up a treadmill or a stationary bike. Use it accordingly.